Ani Was Writing

      For years, I thought I knew.      I thought I knew that was just another character in another story, started by a young lady who just need some sort of companionship while trapped in a world she thought had abandoned her. And I am still that, at my core. Just like a lot of others are around me.      But now, I see it clearer. I see my role. I see my Guardian. No, not the Royal Spymaster. He was there for me, but never could truly fulfill that role due to his loyalty to his duties. Not that there is anything wrong with that. And I am grateful for the children we have had together because of our intimacy. But my true Guardian. The one that was given to me a long time ago, when all hope seemed far away and I -like my Creator- was swimming in a dark, chaotic sea of abandonment.      I hear now that both groups are coming to the Void. Both under a different pretense. But both groups are set on fulfilling. My Guardian faces rev...

 It is difficult to function when pain is a roommate.      Currently, I am dealing with some sciatic pain. During some strenuous labor will do that to me. In the few days I have been dealing and healing, I learned a lot about how I deal with pain and healing. A lot of it is related to my tolerance -or rather, intolerance- to letting myself rest. I grew up in a family where rest wasn't necessarily an encouraged action. I wasn't punished or shamed either. It was just a less-than-desired option when it came to healing. So with this new pain, I have tried my hardest to let myself rest and sit down when I feel I need to.     I will admit, the other part of this I learned about is when to stretch and push my muscles sometimes. As much as I would love to rot in bed all day, I know my body needs movement and at least some stretching to feel less cadaver-like. As much as it hurts. I know it is one of the things I need to do to get back into full rhythm and into my f...

      It hits me as I start to write this that this is essentially a mark of doing enough of these that -had I did these in consistent month installments- this would have been at the two-year mark. Factually, I started doing this about five years ago, then took a massive gap in time to write a bunch of fictional series and to hammer out some metaphorical life thoughts. Now I'm back here, with the same collection I fought with in 2016. Let's see if this can truly relay how I feel without marking up your perspective of me too badly. Citizen: An American Lyric By Claudia Rankine     If memory serves me well, this was my summer Senior Seminar for my English degree. Even though I was only halfway through my Junior year of my Bachelors of Arts, I took this class. It was a class in African-American Poetry, both older and newer poets. I got some of my most interesting interactions in that class, mainly from the tension between the Hispanic-American students and everyone...

 Be careful what you do with your time.      I thought I was just playing a simple golfing game with my friends and family. Something cute and sweet, yet difficult. Mini golf is supposed to be like that, right?     But it's the patterns. The patterns are ... enticing. They call to a deeper instinct in your mind. The one that trusts others no matter what happens. The one that gives up control no matter who it is given to.      Before long, I was lost. Lost in the golf course with others who gave up on golfing at all. They lived and danced in the streets below the golfers above. I tried to live with them. I really did. But the patterns couldn't steal my mind so easily. And it only took one person to stop it all.      Now I have the map. The layout of this place. And I will seek to set it ablaze with a zealous fire.      The patterns will not seduce another again.

PR #032026 Reported on 31 March 2026 Project 1: Writing     Current Writing Project: Operation Eventide          Current Status: Planning/Scattered Draft Phase     Current D&D Project: Custodius Continuum, Eventide's Path          Current Status: 7 of 9 Sessions Completed     Blog Posts Completed: 15 of 52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 230.0     Weight Loss/Gain: +/- 0 in March (-2.6 in 2026)     Goal Weight: 180.0 Project 3: Crochet     Gifts/Commissions Completed: 1 of 4 Commissions, 0 of 5 Planned Gifts     Personal Projects Completed: 0