Ani Was Writing

   "It's done."   I feel the tears clear up as I try to sleep. The voice is Amethyst's. I know what she did.   It is the closure of a part of life. Something I always thought would happen, but never wanted it to. It felt weird to say what I needed to say, or realize what I needed to realize. But after a long enough time, it needed to happen.    "Still riding the emotions?" Amethyst asks as she sits on my bed. Earlier, it was Archangel Jillian trying her best to comfort me. Now the Time Walker might try. Maybe. I'm not sure, and at this point, I don't care. Everything has finally changed enough. The warning signs of change were there.    In my mind, I turn over the whole conversations. Hours of circles, trying to get the facts straight and get the emotions calmed. I just wanted peace, but instead I was forced to contend with a darkness that I once embraced. It ended with as much of a bang as it began, and the whispers were as deafening as before....

   I am not sure why, but people in my life have been annoying me lately.    I am pretty sure it is because I am more jaded than usual. I am tired of others and the ways they choose to behave. It is tiring to go through life on a day-to-day level and know when and how a person will react to something, knowing fully that they can change if they wanted to.    It is difficult to see a solution and be unable to offer it without scorn or dissent.    I am not sure what to do yet. Do I just abandon my politeness and be blunt? Or do I try to ignore it and move on? All I know that stewing over it doesn't solve anything.

   You know, sometimes, things cannot be let go of.    Whether it is something said or done, it changes the outlook of existence. The entire axis of your world shifts and you are left behind in the remains of the old life you once had.    Don't you think it is time to let go?     To let go of the feelings?     To let go of the strife?     To let go of the pain?   Those things have their place. They are important in their place. In fact, they can help all of us shift with the world and its ever-changing existence.    As long as they remain in their place. Over time, however, they will fade. Even in their place, the feelings we hold onto fade. We don't feel them the same way every time.    So why try to hold onto something that changes?   Perhaps it is time to let go of the emotions and sentiments we hold so tightly to. To give up what grips us too strongly that we cannot move on. To drop the chains ...

   Do you want to save the world?   Do you want to make a difference in others' lives?   There is a simple way to do that.    You need to save yourself.    Does this mean doing this alone? Not at all! This journey need its companions and differing methods to get what you need.   Does this mean you will save the entire world? Well, no. But by saving yourself, you could save someone you care about. You could save your family by being the first. You can be an inspiration to neighbors and friends who struggle.    After all, they are in your world.  So in the end... Save yourself, save your world.