Ani Was Writing

 Suicide Hotline Hold Music By Jessy Randall     This book is not what it says on the tin.      Sure, the first poem is. Kinda. But then it really falls into a nice rhythm of different topics made a little bit more nuanced by Randall's style of poetry. Her style is more free and relatable. On top of that, her visuals for this collection are absolutely wonderful.      It's definitely worth the buy if you really need a good collection to slip back into reading poetry or to start reading poetry. Don't let the title fool you.

      Vacation Bible School always wrecks me. Or Day Camp, as my home church calls it.     Don't get me wrong! Being the Arts and Crafts Coordinator/Teacher is a joy. With all the fun we have and all the chaos we enjoy, it is a lot of work. And this year proved to be more difficult for me than I thought. A lot more days where I needed rest and an easier time moving around than normal.      In the end though, I'm glad I did it. It takes me out of my usual headspace and lets me float in a semi-vacuum for a while. But now that I'm out of it, I'm glad it's over and that I won't have to put any thought into it again if I don't want to.      On another note, I'm finally done updating the blog. Apologies again for the mega backlog. I know it's hard to get a bunch of blog posts at once. And for some people ( cough cough my friend Iggy cough cough), it's been a chance to catch up on the mega collection that is about ... eight years of blog p...

 3: Adventures Await  She reaches the gates with a sigh of weariness. It has been a long trek from the Capital to the Holy City, but it is worth it. She touches the archway of the entrance to Peponi and draws a shape on her chest before heading in.   76th Day of the 52nd Cycle of Night. The woman smirks to herself as she slinks through the crowds. A few faces barely regard her as they keep to their rituals. Different parades of people float by with incense burners and incantations. Different gods and goddesses drift with them as they shower blessings on their followers. One of the gods turns their face to see her. They stare at each other for a moment. It is not a surprise to see a god on this given day, but this god seems interested in her. It gives her a formal nod as it follows its disciples and continues to spread blessings on them. The woman winds her way around the packs of followers until she comes to a small temple with no door. With a glance to either side, she ...

  PR #052026 Reported on 13 June 2026 Project 1: Writing     Current Writing Project: Operation Eventide          Current Status: Planning/Scattered Draft Phase     Current D&D Project: Custodius Continuum, Project Dungeons and Bitches          Current Status: 1 of 5 Preliminary Sessions Done, Preparing Session 3     Blog Posts Completed: 26 of 52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 231.8     Weight Loss/Gain: +4 in April (-0.8 in 2026)     Goal Weight: 180.0 Project 3: Crochet     Gifts/Commissions Completed: 2.5 of 4 Commissions, 0 of 5 Planned Gifts     Personal Projects Completed: 0

 They did it. I can't believe they did it.     To be fair, I wasn't very sure they would. I knew the New Horizons crew could do it. But the Chaos Party? That was a trip. But they caught on quick.      I'm worried about that Goliath though. Sutr, I think his name is. He did not seem to really know what was going on. I mean, who could blame him? An amature writer and Otito got his hands off Buffmem and put them in a new path. I'll have to keep my eye on him.      I can help with that.      God blessed, Ani. What are you going to do?     You are now a birb again.      Are you shitting me?     Nope. Besides, my friend is also a birb in Chaos Party. You two will have fun.     You're assuming he'll keep his form.      And you're assuming he won't. But neither of us really knows until he tells us, right? Schrodinger's idea and all.     Don't you mean cat?   ...

      As I'm near the end of a school year as a substitute paraprofessional, I noticed a trend in certain grade levels and specifically with certain set of students. Usually, it's the early teens crowd (about 13 to 15 years old) alongside the teachers and paraprofessionals that work with them. Now that I've sectioned out that group, this little post is for them and others that work with them.      Do not give up on this group. This group is especially difficult, I get that. This is the age group most likely to shove against rules and boundaries that they were given when they first started understanding rules and their consequences. This is the age group that wants to gamble with their life in the most impulsive way possible. But this is also a time where we as the adults can do so much to set them up for the most realistic expectations for life. That life will not be easy, and it will not make us happy all the time, and it cannot give us what we want or nee...

 2: Fetching Hani looks down on Animus’ chocolate hair and sighs. He knows not to ask what he is about to ask, but he does anyway. “What did you need, Novel Writer?”  Animus smirks. “I need you to go find Amethyst for me. I don’t know where she went.”  “I thought you had a tracker on your Time Walker.”  “She’s blocking her energy signature from me. You’re the next best person to find her.”  “And you want me -of all people- to go find her.” Hani raises an eyebrow.  “Without question.” Animus grins. “Besides, she likes it when you go find her instead. It’s more fun, according to her.”  Hani rolls his eyes again and shifts his weight. He gets rather annoyed when he becomes Amethyst’s hunter. He recalls the many conversations before this. Too many to count. Too many times that Animus gave her cloy smile and tried to make her requests as cute-sounding as possible. He looks to her and wonders how many times Animus asked him to find her pet Time Walker when i...

Furious Dusk By David Campos     There are a lot of books I feel like I've read already. I also feel like I've talked about this book on this blog before. So far, I haven't found a blog post about it yet. If you think you might know, feel free to say so.     In the meantime-          I feel the best way to talk about this book would be to reference the introduction to this poetry collection. It is written by Rhina P Espaillat, the final judge for the 2014 Andres Montoya Poetry Prize. Considering this is his first book, I'm sure Espaillat had a lot to say about it.      "From the opening of Part 1, a brutal hunting scene that plunges the reader into the book's pervasive violence... the reader witnesses a life spent trying to become what his own nature does not accept..." I will give some perspective here. A lot of the imagery in this part can be considered violent. On a different level, a lot of this imagery actually more palata...

      At the time of writing this, I am just tired.      I am trying to finish prep for a large Dungeons and Dragons campaign finale. Things are pretty crazy for a potentially 14-player game with 2 DMs (myself and my Lutheran pastor) working together. We'll see how it goes.      On top of that, I'm still in a little pain. Not nearly as much as I did last month, but enough to still feel a difference. The medicine is helping, but I'm still bone tired from that.     The cherry on top is just trying to get some stuff done. I've got crocheting done, and I'm trying to get my mind back into a writing mode so I can work on my novel instead of just writing blog posts.      We'll see how that goes. 

  PR #042026 Reported on 26 April 2026 Project 1: Writing     Current Writing Project: Operation Eventide          Current Status: Planning/Scattered Draft Phase     Current D&D Project: Custodius Continuum, Eventide's Path          Current Status: 8 of 9 Sessions Completed     Blog Posts Completed: 20 of 52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 227.8     Weight Loss/Gain: -2.2 in March (-4.8 in 2026)     Goal Weight: 180.0 Project 3: Crochet     Gifts/Commissions Completed: 1.5 of 4 Commissions, 0 of 5 Planned Gifts     Personal Projects Completed: 0

      For years, I thought I knew.      I thought I knew that was just another character in another story, started by a young lady who just need some sort of companionship while trapped in a world she thought had abandoned her. And I am still that, at my core. Just like a lot of others are around me.      But now, I see it clearer. I see my role. I see my Guardian. No, not the Royal Spymaster. He was there for me, but never could truly fulfill that role due to his loyalty to his duties. Not that there is anything wrong with that. And I am grateful for the children we have had together because of our intimacy. But my true Guardian. The one that was given to me a long time ago, when all hope seemed far away and I -like my Creator- was swimming in a dark, chaotic sea of abandonment.      I hear now that both groups are coming to the Void. Both under a different pretense. But both groups are set on fulfilling. My Guardian faces rev...

 It is difficult to function when pain is a roommate.      Currently, I am dealing with some sciatic pain. During some strenuous labor will do that to me. In the few days I have been dealing and healing, I learned a lot about how I deal with pain and healing. A lot of it is related to my tolerance -or rather, intolerance- to letting myself rest. I grew up in a family where rest wasn't necessarily an encouraged action. I wasn't punished or shamed either. It was just a less-than-desired option when it came to healing. So with this new pain, I have tried my hardest to let myself rest and sit down when I feel I need to.     I will admit, the other part of this I learned about is when to stretch and push my muscles sometimes. As much as I would love to rot in bed all day, I know my body needs movement and at least some stretching to feel less cadaver-like. As much as it hurts. I know it is one of the things I need to do to get back into full rhythm and into my f...

      It hits me as I start to write this that this is essentially a mark of doing enough of these that -had I did these in consistent month installments- this would have been at the two-year mark. Factually, I started doing this about five years ago, then took a massive gap in time to write a bunch of fictional series and to hammer out some metaphorical life thoughts. Now I'm back here, with the same collection I fought with in 2016. Let's see if this can truly relay how I feel without marking up your perspective of me too badly. Citizen: An American Lyric By Claudia Rankine     If memory serves me well, this was my summer Senior Seminar for my English degree. Even though I was only halfway through my Junior year of my Bachelors of Arts, I took this class. It was a class in African-American Poetry, both older and newer poets. I got some of my most interesting interactions in that class, mainly from the tension between the Hispanic-American students and everyone...

 Be careful what you do with your time.      I thought I was just playing a simple golfing game with my friends and family. Something cute and sweet, yet difficult. Mini golf is supposed to be like that, right?     But it's the patterns. The patterns are ... enticing. They call to a deeper instinct in your mind. The one that trusts others no matter what happens. The one that gives up control no matter who it is given to.      Before long, I was lost. Lost in the golf course with others who gave up on golfing at all. They lived and danced in the streets below the golfers above. I tried to live with them. I really did. But the patterns couldn't steal my mind so easily. And it only took one person to stop it all.      Now I have the map. The layout of this place. And I will seek to set it ablaze with a zealous fire.      The patterns will not seduce another again.

PR #032026 Reported on 31 March 2026 Project 1: Writing     Current Writing Project: Operation Eventide          Current Status: Planning/Scattered Draft Phase     Current D&D Project: Custodius Continuum, Eventide's Path          Current Status: 7 of 9 Sessions Completed     Blog Posts Completed: 15 of 52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 230.0     Weight Loss/Gain: +/- 0 in March (-2.6 in 2026)     Goal Weight: 180.0 Project 3: Crochet     Gifts/Commissions Completed: 1 of 4 Commissions, 0 of 5 Planned Gifts     Personal Projects Completed: 0

    "See, you little lovebirds? It wasn't that hard, was it?"     The Tomnacks stare at the person in front of them. Was it a person? The vaguely humanoid shape seemed to suggest that. The greying skin did not. The black suit made the person look human. The black pools for eyes did not.     "To be frank, I shouldn't really be thanking either of you. It was -oh, I forget their names. The druid and the bugbear. Or was it the gnomes? Regardless, neither of you actually did the labor that was asked of you. Your underlings did."     "How were we supposed to know these adventurers would do that?" The husband shouts, "You told me to kill that damned Time Walker!"     "And you told me nothing!" The wife cries, "How was I supposed to know my daughter-?"     The person shifts. Gains fleshy skin and an aura of humanity. Loses composure. "No, no. That one was not your daughter. Only a vessel. Just like that dragon. Except the...

There Was A Old Woman By Jessy Randall     Have you ever read a collection of writing and thought, "Wow, if this was in any other form, this person would have looked disturbed?" Because that's how I felt after reading this small poetry collection.     Imagine every nursery rhyme you know about old women, mothers, or just any in the older female protagonist area. Now imagine you cracked open this and saw 66 of them with wild commentary or extrapolated continuations. And -trust me- it is a fun ride. A quick jaunt through a spooky forest, for a decent description.           All this said, Randall hits some potential sensitive spots. It often caught me off-guard as I read through this. So keep that in mind if you decide to hop on this collection. If this were a series of posts on social media, or comments left in random places, or even short form video posts... I would be a little disturbed. It feels like reading someone's 4am thoughts after...

    I don't know how they found me so fast. I was just put in this program not a day or two ago. Or, maybe three days? I can't remember. I just know I showed up here and they ushered me into a few different rooms to see what kind of stuff I was interested in. One of them was a showdown between different digital cowboys and outlaws. The other was a cooking show with my favorite social media cook! I chose the cooking show one and was placed in the same village/neighborhood place as all of the cooks and chefs I admired.      Then I found out my mother is here. Somewhere. She clouds my happiness. And now I need to find her so I can get rid of her.      But it seems like the law enforcement has found me. And I can hear them yelling for me.

    So, a lot has happened since the end of February. Or, actually, the start. Because ... madness. I have learned a lot of things from it that I wouldn't mind sharing with you. 1 - No matter what the fast food restaurant claims, they treat their workers like cogs in a machine. Without really giving it away (unless you know already because you are a co-worker, family member, or someone I've mentioned this too), the place I currently work at likes to portray themselves as a restaurant that treats their workers like not workers. Like they are important to the system in a way that isn't just the manual and mental labor of being at the bottom of the machine. As I have found out through my experience this last month, this is a lie. I am a cog in the machine, and it seems that a lot of the problems they may have with me are because I'm the only cog really being watched intensely. 2 - People do actually care about me. Just not everywhere I want them too. And that's fine. I...

PR #022026 Reported on 10 March 2026 Project 1: Writing     Current Writing Project: Operation Eventide          Current Status: Planning/Scattered Draft Phase     Current D&D Project: Custodius Continuum, Eventide's Path          Current Status: 6 of 9 Sessions Completed     Blog Posts Completed: 10 of 52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) State of Project 1:     Project 1 is ongoing, as always. I haven't had as much energy as I thought to get certain things done, but I have done as much as I can. Heading into March, I'm going to try my best to get work done ahead of time, considering I have more creative projects coming in Spring and Summer that need attending to. Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 230.0     Weight Loss/Gain: -2.6 in February (-2.6 in 2026)     Goal Weight: 180.0 State of Project 2:     Project 2 has been steady going for the mo...

The Siren World By Juan J. Morales     By far, this is one of my two favorite poets (the other being Idris Goodwin). This is also another writer where I show my bias. Morales was my professor in university as well as my academic advisor, so getting to experience a small part of him again in this poetry book brought back a bunch of pleasant memories.      The Siren World really brings home to me the tension between being from a certain place but "being" from an entirely different place. A lot of what is brought up in this collection is the back and forth between Morales' insights into historical figures and events; and his more recent feelings about his personal heritage and the experiences he has with his family and friends. You can really feel this as he talks about travelling to visit family. This collection brings a nuanced flavor to a larger discussion of cultural and societal shifts that appear when families migrate, whether between pieces of the same count...

     The bird did it.      That darn bird.      I don't think he realizes what he's done.     With this, I can plan the new path. The new timeline. The one that the Creator could not see. But I could. I could always see it.      Just remember this, mortals.     The good work you put in with good intentions can bloom into new possibilities. The effort you put in that is beyond your own ego will change things more than you can imagine. That is the true path to changing things for the better.      But for now, as I swim through this Void to my destination, I can still hope. I can still pursue the goal I've had in my golden blood for some time now.      Getting rid of the Outsider. Somehow.  ~ Greetings Gerald, As you can tell from the energy of this letter, this is not your wife. She is a little -let us call it preoccupied- with trying to reach you. And with this new little ...

    This Valentine's Day will probably come and go for me this year.      Much like previous years, I am not in a relationship with someone, let alone someone who is excited to show some tokens of love to me. Which is fine. I will probably be sad about it toward the evening when I hear about how all the couples in my life are doing. Social media will show me both lavish displays and heartbreaking temper tantrums. I know how this day goes for most of the public displays of love or "love," depending on the situation.      But I'm jaded this year. A lot of my emotional energy is already drained as it is. So I may just use this day to do what I can to restore myself.      Chances are, in a few hours, I will be playing games with my group of friends that are jokingly called "the Civ bitches." Or maybe not (it depends on what everyone's plans are for the day). And I will probably have dinner like I normally do on Saturdays. Maybe my famil...

      I have been watching a lot of people that are idiots for the sake of being idiots online, often to the enragement of those watching their online content. Lolcows, they get called. In the past, I used to be readily aware of two said lolcows: Amber Reid and Chantal/Foodie Beauty.     Since then, I've moved away from them only to find more. And I'm about ready to find a more creative outlet for my thoughts concerning all of these people and what I know of them.      Debating on writing a novel. Still debating it. If you happen to see this post in the ether of the Internet, I would love to know what you would think. I'm mainly on Discord, Instagram, and Threads. I am eliminating any other social media platforms I have slowly, so don't bother to find me otherwise.     Otherwise, there are also plans for other fictional works. I will be sure to let y'all know closer to the summertime.

  PR #012026 Reported on 31 January 2026 Project 1: Writing     Current Writing Project: Operation Eventide          Current Status: Unknown     Current D&D Project: Custodius Continuum, Eventide's Path          Current Status: 5 of 9 Sessions Completed     Blog Posts Completed: 5 of 52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) State of Project 1:     Project 1 is ongoing, as always. Things have been simplified and will be taken care of in short order come February. This is especially considering the two writing projects in question. Blog posts are going mostly well, but I neglected a few until late into January. Need to be more aware of time and being more disciplined in my commitments. Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 232.6     Weight Loss/Gain: +0.6 in January (-0.8 total in 2025)     Goal Weight: 180.0 State of Project 2:     Project 2 has bee...

 The Gravedigger's Archaeology By William Archila     As the start to 2026, this was definitely a rattler.      Normally, I go for something a hair lighter than this. Kind of thought this would be more comedic than it was. But this... This wasn't it.      This book is heavier, given the current context of events. It talks a bit about the grit of life, the spiral that life takes down to its inevitable death. And how even death isn't the end, but another path cycling back up to life in various ways. The grit is what gives it the endless nature of these things. The constant struggle to do more, do better, or do different.      At the end of the book, I received a reminder of the futility and ultimately the frivolity of life. Which in itself is an important lesson that I will be thinking about for the next month or so. 

      It's one thing to change a Nodo Fati.      It's another to re-write the course of a Nodo Fati entirely.      I'm not sure if it was the will of the two Custodius, or if there was something else amiss. Even while I've been stuck in the Void, I feel the changes. The shifts. And this time, there is nothing I can do to correct it.      Normally, I can correct these kinds of things. A tweak of character here, a well-placed McGuffin there. But now it is out of my reach. I'm probably going to be here for a while.      And I suspect that I'm not the only one here anymore.

      "You know, I get it.  It's hard to be associated with both something forgotten and something unforgettable. I get it if that sentence alone makes me hard to understand. But maybe, in this little moment, I should introduce myself. Hi! My name is Pluto. But you can call me Plu."     I stared at the black abyss in the corner of my room. Plu stares back.      I don't know if I can go to bed tonight.

    You know, if you would have told teenage me that I would live to see 2026, I would have probably cried. Dunno if out of anger or joy, but I would cry.      Boy howdy, 2025 was interesting. Things are going on. Things are done. Lots of things are done. And I feel like I've had time to really dive into some nasty inner work and pull out some of the things I really needed to deal with. Now I can move forward and get some other work done.      First, thank you for reading my work in 2025 (and previous years, honestly). This has often become a second notebook for me to really put down some ideas without really committing them to a full set of thoughts or coherent logic. If you have been enjoying this, you have my immense gratitude and commitment to this variant of shit-posting. Albeit a hair better than standard shit-posting across social media, but shit-posting all the same. So thank you.      Second, I would like to tell you that I...