Ani Was Writing

  There is a lot going on in my head.   It has been a week since my talk with my Guide, and I am starting to sense a shift in things.   Things are starting to feel a bit better. But there is more I need to do.   That is all I have to say this week. I have a lot of writing to finish up and some firepit time to savor.

      "The mystery is still unclear, Sanctus Scriptor?"     I know I shouldn't be up this late and now I am paying the price. A tiny Elyon appears next to my container of Lucky Charms and leans against it. I stare at him for a long time. "I really need to go to bed."     "You do, but I would like to have an answer to my question first." Elyon smirks.      I look up at my blog post from 2019 . It seems like that mystery was so long ago, yet so recent. I have been through so much since then. Most of it is loss. I lost two people in my life; I thought both would be around a little longer than they were.     "Having ties break is difficult, no matter how they break." Elyon commiserates. I put on a YouTube video to avoid some late night tears. "The mystery of growth and change definitely feeds off of chaos like that." I sigh and stare down at my journal. "I know it has torn you apart. But the mystery has given you the path you need ...

   "Dr. Ramm, we have found the source of the latest illness."   Dr. Ramm stares at his research assistant for a long time. This latest strain of coronavirus has been rampaging the planet for a long time. It caused too many things to go horribly wrong and refuses to give up. To have his assistant say this was like a brick wall collapsing on him. "You- You have?"     "It is strange, but I think I have something here. Well, we have an idea. Not just me. I just wanted to- I'll just get to the point. You look like you wanted to say that. So, from what I can see, the virus has been centralized to a place in China, or at least Asia as a whole. I really don't want to stray from the facts, but saying China just makes me think of the American rhetoric- Anyway, we have been testing everyone within China especially, and it seems that there is a certain group of people that have claimed to have it first. Well, they say they are the 'beginning of all illness...

"BUT I think there's an even more important decision you'll make in life. It's ONE huge decision... and it's a mindset question. That question is: IS THE WORLD FOR YOU OR AGAINST YOU?"  -Case Kenny, "New Mindset, Who Dis?" post from 8 October 2021      You know, I pondered this question a lot in the hours I waited for my laundry to be done. I read the whole post in an e-mail. Basically, you need to know the answer to this question because it will be able to change your perception of your reality. It is a simple dichotomy. Either the world is for you, so everything becomes a lesson or opportunity that encourages you to grow and change into something better; or the world is against you, so everything becomes a trial or a challenge that discourages your growth and change. It is probably not the sort of thing I should be trying to answer in the middle of the night as I hear the washer and dryer churn, but I do anyway.      For the longest time, I used to...

   Well, this year has turned me in directions I never thought it would. I sit with my family outside my house and wonder what has gone on with the year I have had so far. I have dealt with more loss and change than I could have ever imagined, not to mention the shifts in my own mindset that have propelled me toward this new life I find myself inhabiting.   "I thought you were supposed to be paying attention to your family." Renegade comments quietly as she stands on the opposite side of my screen door. She has been there for an hour now, keeping her attention on my mother. I wish she wouldn't, but she won't listen to me at this point.    "I was. Kind of." I reply. "Just kind of thinking about my own things now."   "Clearly. There is no need to think about them now. You are supposed to be living in the moment. Embracing your family's support and all that stuff that Gen talks about all the time."    I can sense Renegade's annoyance...