Weird Human Quirks

     With the recent things going on at my work, I've noticed some weird human quirks that I want to call out. These are both things I've watched other people do, or it is something I've done that I need to fix. 

Passive or Active Action

    If there is anything I've noticed more than anything, it is that people love to complain. Of course, because of our negativity biases, our fellow people notice that complaining gives a response that is often more complaining. It seems like we all like to complain as a way of mutual compassion. 

    Where I have a problem, however, is when a person would rather complain than do something about their situation. Granted, there are problems where a person cannot actively do anything. Either way, it takes all of my restraint to not grip the person complaining and say, "Either fix it, get someone else to fix it, or find a new perspective." 

    In my life, I learned that constantly complaining and moaning (aka passive actions) only breed contempt and compounded complaining from your fellow people. It creates a toxic environment where nothing truly ever gets done because everyone would rather complain about it. 

    There is a time and place for complaining. Learn when to use it and how to use it for best result.

Intension Versus Action

    With action in mind, please realize that what a person intends to do and what they actually do can come across to two very different ways. 

    You as a person may have the intent for an action or communication, but that will not be obvious to the other person you are interacting with. Unless you state your intention, your actions can come across in the opposite way. 

    If you are ever in a situation where you realize that your intent was not perceived in your action, feel free to admit fault and state what your intention way. More often than not, it will keep tension from building. In the rare cases that it makes things worse, you can always apologize, figure out a solution, then give that person their space once the solution is completed. 

Control

    I feel the need to hammer this home. It is the hardest thing to learn about and to enforce in your head, but it is vital for getting through social interactions. 

    There are things you can control, and there are things that you can't. Learn to see the nuances for each, and do not try to change how much you can't or can control the situation and interaction you are in. No one enjoys someone who oversteps their boundaries, and most people don't like others who are more akin to doormats or stepstools. 

Hypocritical Logic

    Lastly, I would like to remind you to be very aware of what you say. This should be obvious, and the most obvious form of that should be when one complains about an aspect of their job. 

    Chances are, there has been a point in your life where you complained about not getting enough work, getting too much work, or something related to work. It happens to everyone and is a natural part of learning what kind of work you are best at doing. With this in mind, do not be surprised when the person you complained to is someone who has the power to find and implement a solution. 

    For example, don't complain about not having enough work to do, only to complain again when your boss or manager gives you more work to do. Chances are, these people heard a complaint and just wanted to find a solution that sounded like it would work for both of you. If you end up complaining about it when asked to contribute to the solution, you come across more immature and rather annoying to those who offered to help. 

    (As a sidenote, if you are wondering why no one wants to help you with problems in your life, I would highly recommend to give this some thought. A good starting question: In the past, have I asked for help but did not receive the offered solution well? Chances are, if the answer is "no," you might want to consider how to better deal with your complaining and interaction with others.)

You Are Not Always Right

    I know, it's not something pleasant to hear, but it is the truth. More often than you would like to admit, you are not speaking the truth about certain things. Either you are purposefully manipulating it, avoiding it, or are just simply not as aware of how wrong you are.

    It's fine that you aren't right all the time. No person can be. What matters is how you deal with this piece of truth. 

You Don't Have To Empathize With Everyone All The Time

    Having sympathy is wonderful. It gives you an idea of how someone can feel without getting involved in their energy or mood. 

    Having empathy in doses is also wonderful. It gives you a true understanding of how someone feels to the best of your ability. 

    However, you do not need to have so much empathy that you pick up other people's moods and energies all the time. In fact, that is an unhealthy situation for not only you, but the people you are picking up on. I would highly recommend trying to understand why you have an overly-sensitive empathetic mindset. 

    There is a small mantra I have to say whenever I am in this situation to avoid picking up on others' moods or situations. "It is not my circus, or my monkey. I will not pick up on this energy. I will allow it to stay where it started."

    With all of this in mind, I hope you can see the faults and find where you can correct them in your life. I know I will be. Sure, it is a process, but recognizing all of these and learning to correct them is super important and vital for being able to not only deal with others, but even deal with your own mind. 

    I hope that you will take all of this in mind and use it to the best of your ability.