The Path Renewed

-
    "That's it. What's done is done."

    I stare down at my phone, wondering why it had to be this way. Years of a friendship now basically cast into memory and an archive that I wish could continue. I stare up at Arthur. He stares back down at me, waiting to see what I do. I feel the pain flow out of me: my body is numb, my mind is blank, but my heart aches. I've been trying to deny that this could be the path but it is; I can see that now. "Why did this have to be the path?"

    "You think this was supposed to be an easy path? That you would get everything you wanted, including the small hope of being with him?" Arthur smirks. "No. That is not the path. The path you are heading to has better things."

    "I thought he was the better thing!" I scream. I feel my body shake with the rage and the hurt as I get up. Arthur takes a deep breath. "I thought it would be better with him in my life more often! I thought it would be better having his company! That's one part that I've been praying for, hoping for, dreaming of since... since he left the state!" I break into tears and pace the basement again. "But no. No. Not at all. Now he is out of the state, probably for good this time. Didn't say anything to any of us. Not even Sirlari. I had to tell her myself." I glance back at my phone again. "I just thought... maybe I struck a nerve."

    "You probably did. Just not in the way you wanted to." Arthur grabs my shoulder to hold me still. "Remember what the archangel said. You are on your path, and he is on his. And you got to enjoy each other's company for a while."

    "I would hope he enjoyed my company." I sniffle. 

    "I would like to think so. But I don't know. I am merely a reflection of your perspective of him." Arthur chuckles and motions to himself. "And even that is a bit of a convoluted statement." I'm a bit confused, but he clears it up. "You based my existence -and all of the Guardians' existence- off two sources: the secondary source of previous loves, and the primary source of Samuel. Your ideal love." I nod. It is the truth after all. "We phase in and out of the stories because our secondary sources and your ego influence things. But now maybe there needs to be a better path to take. One that is better for you and for us."

    I ponder what he said. I have been getting a lot of signs pointing toward the death of my ego. Was this all part of it? Was this what I was being told would eventually happen so I can move on to something better?

    It seems Arthur was reading my mind as he answers, "Let's get through the ego death all together. So we can all see what's on the other side." He opens his arms for a hug. I fall into them and let him hug me as I cry and release a bit more of my pain. I really hope this will be better for me.

~

NaNoWriMo Word Count (as of today): 7581

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review #3

-
Book Review Dreyer's English: An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style Written by Benjamin Dreyer   If you are looking for a newer, fresher guide to the English language, this might be something to read. Dreyer is the Copy Chief of Random House, which gives him ample credibility to the wisdom and advice he offers. This book becomes a first step into the mind of a copy editor for multiple forms of writing. A lot of the information in this book serves as great advice and a springboard into other resources that Dreyer heartily recommends.   There is a lot of information to take in with this book. Its two sections (and thirteen chapters) cover a lot of material. The first section, "The Stuff in the Front," goes into detail about various style suggestions that you may want to consider on a basic level. Things such as punctuation; the rules and nonrules; and how to write foreign words in your work are critical for everything from flash fiction to novellas, from biographies...
Read more

Extra Note

-
 This goes to every American who either voted or did not vote recently. If you did not get what you wanted/needed, celebrate with those who did. For the first time in four years, those people may feel seen and valued.  If you did get what you wanted/needed, comfort and/or pray for those who did not. For the first time in four years, those people may feel uncertain and scared of their future.  No matter who you are as an American, please prepare to make the next four years the best they can be for yourself and others. Not just the ones you agree with, but everyone.  If your first reaction to my request was to become angry, then please take a moment to ask yourself why you got angry. The fact that you may not be able to set aside your feelings/convictions to understand how others feel is not what we as a full country need right now. For those of you who aren't American but still have elections in your country, I would kindly ask that you adapt this practice for when yo...
Read more

Canlanma Street Level, Story 1

-
Story 1    The holy incense follows the disciples out of the gilded temple hall. The Shepherd continues to swing the burner as he repeats the old mantras of the faith. The last disciple leaves and the burner settles as the Shepherd contemplates the list of rituals he must perform before the sun sets. The ritual implements have to be cleaned, the sacrifices burned, the acolytes of the temple purified, the-   "Shepherd Thanatos, we have a situation that requires your attention." An acolyte of the temple calls from below the altar. The Shepherd sighs and recites his calming mantra: "What I am about to do has not been approved." The Shepherd walks slowly behind the altar and finds the symbol on the side as he recites "chao regnat" under his breath. The symbol glows and opens a trap door under the altar. Shepherd Thanatos checks for other unwelcomed entities then slips under the altar and down the exposed staircase.   The acolytes in the room part as Shephe...
Read more