Life, the Universe, and Anything

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 Today marks one month into being 31. And I'm already over it.

    Well, maybe not being over 31 in terms of my personal work and development. I've actually felt pretty good this month overall, especially after I've made a discovery about myself or explored a thought that I hadn't explored in a long time. That stuff has been amazing, and I feel like I'm making progress on understanding myself more and learning to work with or around parts of my perspective that are flawed and warped. They are parts of my perspective that I will gladly point to being different than what I've seen from most people. 

    On the other hand, I've been having a harder time dealing with my environment. In my choice to change jobs and try to make more money, I find my social life is a bit more cold than I would like. Sure, I can chat with my co-workers, but it is not the same vibe I used to have. These co-workers are a bit colder to me than my previous job. Granted, I worked for seven years at my old job, and I felt like this when I first started at my job. Maybe it is due to my different age that I feel no need to really flow with these guys. Then again, being within the restaurant industry has taught me that even if there is a possibility for more money, the trade off comes in the lack of autonomy. Within the transportation industry, I was allowed to flow as needed, as long as that flow was within the wide pathways. The restaurant industry feels more narrow and conforming with very little room to work as I please. Like I said, it might be due to my age. I'm finding it a little more difficult to feel connected to the people around me. I feel more relaxed and less anxious than the people I work around at my current job. But who knows? If I'm totally honest, I feel like I need to look for something else that will allow me a little bit more autonomy. I've been given a few leads that I need to look into. 

    Another thing I've been exploring is returning and revisiting my habits. There are a few habits that I want to jump back into (regular blog updates being one of them), but I also feel like I need to tweak my perspective or my method to each habit. I feel like a lot of my habits came with some pretty high personal expectations. No one else was putting those on me; that was all on me. So I really need to think those over.

    Speaking of work and career stuff, there have been several suggestions from people within my in-person circles that have been suggesting furthering my education, whether it is a Master's degree or a new degree/certification for a path I didn't really put much thought into. It appeals to me to some extent, and I'm willing to look into it once I get a chance to catch up on some of my sleep and regular self-care stuff. As I said earlier, I feel like I really need to look into doing some other work. I am really feeling like this current job and my past job will not help me in the long run. I really need to do something else, and I'm glad I'm catching it sooner in my thoughts than I did at that last job. 

    But I'm done rambling. I'm writing this as I'm trying to finish up my laundry at a decent hour, while also just trying to ponder what I want to accomplish this week as far as habits and projects go. With that in mind, it felt good to stream again and share my thoughts in a video/stream form instead of just here. So I will be doing that more often. If you want to watch live, feel free to check out my Twitch channel. I also put up the replay of my streams on my YouTube channel when I do any writing work or play games. So please feel free to check those out if you feel up to it. 

    Alright, now I'm done rambling. Like, done done. I hope you have a wonderful timezone and a wonderful week! 

Animus

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