WWRRD?

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     DISCLAIMER: This is just a funny idea I had that fit perfectly with my discovery of a TV series. Everything in this post is fictional, outside of the miniscule amount of research I did for the beginning. PLEASE don't come after me for this. It's just for goofs.

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    Hi there. I'm Ryan Reynolds. Yes, Ani let me "take over her blog" to let you know of an amazing thing I just did. 

    As you know, I am known for many things. One of those things is a show I do called "Welcome to Wrexham," which where myself and another dude called Rob managing a football (or soccer, for you Americans) team. That's really all it boils down to. That and helping the Wrexham community a bit. Those guys are pretty okay, so it's not my trouble. 

    But let me let you in on a little secret. I'm not just doing this for fun. Or for money. Or to look good.

    Just like every good celebrity, I know something that you don't. And I might as well tell you now, because you're not going to be able to do anything about it at this point.

    Where you aware that our planet is about to collapse?

    No, I'm not talking some metaphorical collapse that you guys on TikTok keep rambling about. Especially those of you yapping in  America. I'm talking a full blown, everything going to dust collapse. Like money isn't going to be useful anymore, government officials are getting the death treatment, and all your favorite people in the influencer world are going to contract a disease that will unalive them because of all the things we gave them at conventions and special events just for them. Or the stuff we sent them in the mail. Cause some of them didn't want to have fun in our little social circles. 

    But that doesn't matter anymore. All of your favorite and not-so-favorite people will probably be dead soon. You will be left with your family, your "friends" and your co-workers who will also probably be panicking and trying to start that #homesteading life that everyone kept trying to get them to do. Oh, by the way, that won't work either. We kinda made the ground and the plant life with a ticking clock that counteracts their normal biological clock so that way, after all of the things become useless, so will they. They will actually probably change just as the climate falls apart and all that lovely ice finally dissolves into the salt water cocktail we have been preparing for the last millennia. 

    Who is this "we" I keep hinting at? 

    Well, all of your favorite comedians of course! Yes, we -the ones who tried to keep you all distracted with humor for all these years- are finally at the cusp of greatness. We have been planning this with our comedic fathers and grandfather and great-grandfathers and- Well, you get the point. This has been a millennia in the making, just for the greatest punchline in the world. 

    That everything you love will eventually die. 

    Don't get me wrong, I won't be totally unaffected myself. I will lose people and lose the wealth that made me an influence in the world. Not that it amounted to much, but it was something. But -of course, as we comedians do- we found a way to circumvent most of the anarchy that is about to shake up your lives. 

    We all bought sports teams. 

    Haven't you noticed how often you see certain comedians at games, sitting in the VIP places eating our VIP snacks and watching our VIPs doing their best? Well, that is because we own them. And I don't just mean in the metaphorical way. I mean physically own them. I don't think most of them read through the clauses with that, and neither did their legal teams. But we own them now, and we have been training them to fight ever since they stepped onto the court, the field, or whatever arena houses their life's work. 

    But now we have them. And they are ready to fight for us when it comes time to make our stands across the world. We have all agreed to certain places being established as our territories and even signed contracts and declarations to make sure we wouldn't go into each other's spaces to take them over for five years after all of this went down. It is a nice little plan really. To watch the world burn and fall apart while we protect our own athletic warriors in our territories. 

    Everything you love will eventually die. Except for us. And we plan to record it all for future comedy shows once the world comes back to being a place where people can take a fucking joke with a laugh and a drink of their choice. 

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