Getting Things Sorted
So, a lot has happened since the end of February. Or, actually, the start. Because ... madness. I have learned a lot of things from it that I wouldn't mind sharing with you.
2 - People do actually care about me. Just not everywhere I want them too. And that's fine. I don't expect everyone to care about me in every place I go. I'm definitely learning where they do care though. It really does depend on where my contributions seem to matter more.
1 - No matter what the fast food restaurant claims, they treat their workers like cogs in a machine. Without really giving it away (unless you know already because you are a co-worker, family member, or someone I've mentioned this too), the place I currently work at likes to portray themselves as a restaurant that treats their workers like not workers. Like they are important to the system in a way that isn't just the manual and mental labor of being at the bottom of the machine. As I have found out through my experience this last month, this is a lie. I am a cog in the machine, and it seems that a lot of the problems they may have with me are because I'm the only cog really being watched intensely.
2 - People do actually care about me. Just not everywhere I want them too. And that's fine. I don't expect everyone to care about me in every place I go. I'm definitely learning where they do care though. It really does depend on where my contributions seem to matter more.
3 - I can have a life beyond my usual habits. There are things I can do to put a stop to certain places stealing most of my energy and emotional reserves. Especially if said place doesn't really care about my energy beyond what it can do with said energy.
4 - I am just really done with being forced to exist a certain way. I don't like losing my freedom just to conform to a system that doesn't really seem to care whether I conform or not by the time everything shakes out.
5 - Fuck metrics. And double fuck the people who use faulty measures and methods to collect metrics, especially when said measures and methods only track one part of a multi-dimensional system. Cause that is stupid. Why would you rely on a measurement or method when it isn't fully ready to be used in that capacity?
6 - Screw people who like to bend their moral standards just to get some elusive incentive that could vanish at any given point. Also, double screw the managers or other variants of higher-ups in a company that are okay with these moral standards bending "as long as it makes things look good." Cause that's trashy. And it won't reflect well in the long term.
7 - I'm definitely just tired of being trapped. I don't like being forced into a system where a certain style of work is presented to me as the ideal but is flawed and morally stunted. I also don't like when said ideal is questioned, the higher-ups return with a more "deal with it" indifference than a discussion about what is going on.
But these are all just lessons for me at this rate. Lessons that I will take on as I move forward. I am trying my damnedest to break free of my usual habits and life right now. Let's see how I do with that.