Spiritual Journeys

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 Numbers. Signs. Cards. Runes. 

    All of them play into a journey I was not expecting to take at this point in my life. In fact, if you had asked me five years ago if I would even consider playing with these spiritual tools, I probably would have scoffed and reminded you that those were for other people, not me. 

    So what changed this?

    The first thing I noticed was how often I was hearing things. Normally, that would be a sign of mental breakdown, and I would agree that about two years ago, I was going through a sort of mental breakdown. Looking back now though, I would assume that grief plays a part in how you cope with the unknown expanse of the spiritual world around you. 

    A few months after my father passed away, I noticed that I was hearing things. Not as distant echoes or incoherent phrases. It was clear words, spoken by voices that weren't any I was familiar with. It took me a while to realize that the voices were attached to spiritual guides that -before this point- I had never really interacted with beyond the occasional dream. They were now popping up everywhere, especially when I was in grief or distress from my new circumstances. 

    Then there were the numbers. 929, 919, 111, 244, and various other repeated numbers appeared in a strange pattern I was noticing. Especially 929 and 919; these are both correlated with numbers related to my birth. These numbers I would come to understand as angel numbers, hidden messages from the spiritual world that so desperately wanted to be more connected to me. 

    Another few months would go by before I saw the signs. Yes, signs. And no, not like a mentally broken person, though I do suspect that all of this has broken me to some extent. The signs repeated just as much as the numbers did. It would be words or symbols in dreams that I was not anticipating. Things that I did not expect to appear, but they did. It didn't take long for me to put together that I was on a journey I was not prepared for. 

    The tarot cards came soon after. I toyed with an app on my phone for years that talk the basic principles behind Tarot and the meanings of each card. I realized that most people who were unfamiliar with Tarot attempt to use it for fortune-telling or to see into the future. Honestly, that couldn't be further from the traditional way that Tarot was to be used. It was meant to reveal something within the person receiving the reading. It was not a telescope that looked ahead; it was a mirror that looked inward. In due time, I came to purchase a physical deck of my own. I enjoy using and hope to purchase another nicer looking deck in the future. 

    Most recently, the Nordic runes came into my practice. They guided me toward more themes in my life that I could easily influence and control, making my journey faster and easier by the day. The runes channeled the divine closer to me, just as the Tarot cards helped me look within. 

    Normally, with my Lutheran upbringing and Protestant ideology, these items and experiences would be deemed as the work of evil and not things to be further toyed with. However, I broke off with my home church and its constrictive thinking about five years ago now, so I find their words of shame and finger-wagging more pitiful by the day. 

    But how do I reconcile that I still hold basic Christian beliefs while still keeping the spiritual practices? 

    It's simple, really. Instead of aligning myself to other pantheons and gods, I allowed the Christian God I knew to become my leader and main source of enlightenment from his seat on his throne. The other gods and goddesses I knew would be reduced to guides for spiritual introspections and the occasional reading of cards and runes. 

    On top of that, I dedicated my time and energy to seeing or performing acts to my God. With this kind of dedication, I feel I have absolved and protected myself with energies and guides that could keep me from falling into the hands of wrongdoing. 

    Looking ahead, I do wish to find out more and incorporate everything into my practice. In the meantime, I will tend to my altar and objects as often as I can. 

    This journey has lead to some truly amazing things that I cannot wait to share in my journals or with all of you. 

    Please keep your heart and your mind open to all of the things that can happen in your life. You never know what will change your life for the better.

 

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