Ani Was Writing

     Well, I'm it this year.      Every decade, some twerp we call the "old grand master" names someone as the "chosen one" and sends them on some quest to find ourselves. Something boring like that. I think it is usually someone putting some coin or something valuable in the old man's underwear and telling him which "chosen one" would be the best one. Like some bizarre game or bet. Either way, our parents weren't too happy when we got-     Oh, I forgot. It's not just me.      This year, it's him and I.      We are twins. Born and raised that way. Thankfully, we are both men, so our mother didn't dress us up in those ugly dresses and parade us around like royalty while we were little. We were just told to tend to the animals and the farmland. Father taught us how, and soon enough we were slinging alfalfa and milking goats better than most of the farm hands from the wealthier farmers in the area. Our work was quick, le...

      We finally did it.      At long last, we found a way to defeat the empire.      For so long, we thought they had us. Their law enforcement was just a little faster, a little smarter, and a little wittier. They had us in jail at one point, but we got out once we realized who the weakest link in their chain was: their juries. The poor people they ripped out from the livelihoods they were forced to upkeep to sit and listen to the pleas of our brethren. All we would ask for was a little mercy, and the jury would be quick to give. They understood how things were truly run over here, most of the time. The law enforcement tried to bribe them with money, goodies, or favors just to dole out their "justice." Sometimes it worked, hence jail. But most of the time, the people of the jury would find the law enforcement too extreme for such a simple crime.      So we learned the ways of the people. The people they ripped out for this "j...

      They usually come over every day. Who? I couldn't tell you. They just told me they were "Elo from him" or something like that. I don't even know who the "him" is, but I'm guessing some sort of big doctor or someone important. They wear white scrubs with some sort of jacket over them when it's cold outside, or some nice accessories when it is warm. One of them gave me the spa headband when they came over during the summer. Saying something about "forgetting to take it off after their baptism" or some weird thing like that.      They talk weird, if that wasn't obvious. Very Christian-y, but like weird Christian-y.      Anyway, they usually come over every morning, around three in the morning when I'm still up playing video games. They seem to know when to come over because it will be after a round of Call of Duty or when I'm just messing around in a RPG. They ring my doorbell, I let them in, and then the routine begins.     ...

 Hello there! Thanks for calling La Pizzeria Carnale. Would you like to order for dine-in, carryout, or delivery?  [...]  Ah, excellent, carryout! I love getting to see my customers. Now, have you seen our menu beforehand, or would you like to know about our weekly specials?  [...]  A regular customer, I see. Well, if you would indulge me, I would like to draw your attention to our season special. Large pizza, unlimited toppings, with our vintage sauce recipe. This sauce is basically made every year and preserved in special oak barrels to bring out their robust flavor.  [...] Fantastic! I will put that in your order for you. Are there any other pizzas you would like? [...] Yes, we do still make sauces that are still ... young, for lack of a better word. In fact, we just got a fresh batch of- [...] Yes, yes, we know that lovely couple! They are one of our secondary suppliers. Wonderful selection to choose from. Would you like me to use their product for...