My 31st Year - A Review

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 Hello friendos of the internet. 

    I normally don't do this, but I decided I might as well start because now I've headed into a new decade of my life.. my 30s. I know I didn't do this for my 30th year, but I might as well start now. 

    Here is my opinion of my 31st year of life. 

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  Career/Job: 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

    In all honesty, I wasn't expecting to be at my job as long as I have been. Yes, I am still there... it's going to be a little while before I get out. At the same time, it hasn't been as hard or annoying as I thought it would be. Sure, the usual annoyances come with this job, but it definitely wasn't as bad as I thought. 

    On a sidenote, I find a lot of the quirks of how I am supposed to interact with both my co-workers and our guests (if you don't know what company I work in, that might give you a clue) really odd. I often find our little phrases less effective than I think they were intended to be. Granted, they are supposed to foster a friendly and original style of hospitality, but I find their use to be more forced than anything. I would rather just be my usual neutral friendly (aka polite and civil) than be forced to say certain phrases or act certain ways to communicate a forced friendliness.

Finances: 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑

    On a beautiful related note, my ability to have a little more money has been nice. I have been able to get a few more things taken care of with this slight increase in my finances. Mostly though, I have found that I spent a little too much on myself to the point where I was stressed toward the beginning of 2024 than I should have been. It is nice though, and something I will make sure to focus on a bit better in my 32nd year. 

Personal Connections: 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

    I will admit, it has been nice to have new people to connect to, both at work and in my romantic life. While some of them have been less than stellar and have taught me many lessons, a good chunk have been super beneficial and helped me really see that people -though flawed- are super important to my self-improvement and my perspective on life in general. 

    The reason this is getting a lesser rating is because of the rough times I had between May and August. Having someone close die to me, then dealing with all of the roughness of my grief and projecting that out on my family and friends made things more unpleasant than I wanted them to be. So my apologies for anyone and everyone that interacted with me during that time. I am slowly working through it and getting better about the things that bothered me while I was grieving. 

Hobbies: 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑

    The only thing that saved this category from being lower is Dungeons and Dragons. As far as my hobbies go, I hadn't been able to do much with them. It was getting to the point where my hobbies became more of a burden to take on than a joy that brought me solace at the end of the day. A lot of that had to do with my expectations for progress in these areas. I was (and still kind of am) drowning in a lot of the progress I want to get done in my hobbies. But that turns me away from wanting to do them. (That is part of the reason this blog suffered a lot this last year. This is one of my hobbies.)

    I am hoping that by turning over a new year and perhaps tweaking my perspective on my expectations, I can improve my motivation and actually get some stuff done. 

Personal Growth: 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑

    I am mixed about this area of my life. On the one hand, I've made some strides into my personal understanding of my life and my current state of being. And I am super happy about that. On the other hand, I have found myself in an odd energy that I am not 100% sure what to do with. It's been one that started in May after the death of my boyfriend, and it's really only morphed into a strange sense of self that I feel I'm barely tackling in the start of my 32nd year. It's a sense of self-worth and self-love that I'm not sure what to do with, given I've not had much of either trait to begin with. That coupled with the return of my inner child's joy and my inner teenager's hurt/rage has made for an interesting combo.

    There may be updates on this area of my life in future blog posts.

Overall: 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

    Was it a bad year? Kinda? Better than I thought it was going to go. But was it a great year? Absolutely not. 

    I'm not sure how I feel about that, other than relief. Right now, I feel like I am really fucked up and I'm struggling to find a way to deal with that feeling. But maybe that is the point right now. Maybe I am meant to feel this way right now to spur myself into better habits and paths. I am really hoping so. 

~

    Thank you for indulging me on this little review. I promise, next week will be the review of the Dune comic books ... sorry, graphic novels. 

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