Three Things to Keep in Mind: Damaged Relations [Part 3]

 Oh ho! You thought this was going to be another old blog repost, eh? Honestly, I thought so too. Then I realized that this might have been right before I switched over to this blog! So you actually get a handwritten Ani post while I'm away for the month. 

    You don't remember that? Check the post from 1 October.

    Now that that's out of the way, I will do my best to give you a more updated view on how I feel, almost a decade after writing those original posts. Let's see if I have some better insight that 2018 Ani.

Part 3:

The Shifting Sands of Perspective

    Time has come and gone. Things have changed. I have changed. But I think a lot of what I said in the first two parts so long ago still hold some truth. But there maybe a few tweaks I want to really talk about. 

One: Hold It If You Want To

    Back in Part 1, I mention "Forgive and Forget" as a thing someone who is offended needs to do. That you should forgive the offending party for what they said, and forget the emotional and psychological responses to that wrongdoing. Do I still feel like this applies? To a lesser degree, yes. I really still hold to the idea that forgiveness and forgetfulness on that level could really help someone move past a lot of what is weighing them down. 

    Unless you really feel like you can carry the wrongdoing. If you can carry the wrongdoing without feeling overburdened, go for it! Don't feel like you want to forgive? Then don't. Don't feel like you can truly forget how they made you feel? Then don't. Let that stuff stay with you. There are some times where you will want to do that. Go for it. And when you want to drop it, do it. And if you feel like you want to pick up that weight, that's on you. 

    What I really hit with this point was kind of egotistical on my part. At this point in my life, I thought I had really let go of things. That I was a great example of "forgive and forget." Not only have I proven myself wrong on that with my own life experience, but I have come across too many folks who cling to their lack of "forgive and forget" as part of their identity. So hey. You do you. Just make sure you can handle it. 

Two: You Are Still Human

    After reading both parts and their second points, I would like to re-emphasize how important your humanity is. Sure, you can mess up things and get yourself into some nasty situations. But you also can be the target of some messed up stuff. 

    It is hard to remember that, especially now that we are driven apart by so many perspectives and life experiences. Please try to remember that the person on the other side of this experience is just that: a person. Both of you have been the aggressor and the target in different experiences throughout your whole lives so far. 

    That said, there are some things that feel very inhumane. And keep in mind to call those out. Given the current state of mind-numbing social media consumption that we are going through, I feel that we need to remind each other that we are human. Not mechanical input and output systems that only run on binary coding and logic. If things are messed up, say so. If you are okay with something, say so.

Three: Unplug and Create

    This is something I have noticed a lot of people saying online lately. Heck, I'm literally unplugged from my social media life at the time of you seeing this. But I think it is super duper important that you understand this.

    You need to let go of social media and focus on making something for yourself.

    Like I said before, you are not a mechanical input and output system. But social media or even other forms of electronic media will try to shape you to be that way. That you must conform. That you must believe exactly the same, even if you truly don't. There is no middle ground for these algorithms or the juggernauts that control them. 

    So leave the juggernauts to their own dead systems. Let them think that reality is black and white. Get out of the binary. 

    As soon as you are done reading this and when you are safely at home, turn off everything digital. Shut down your computer, turn off your tablets and phones, cut your power to your television. Just sit in your house and listen for the things you've been missing out on. The hum of your non-digital electronics. The noises just outside your walls. Feel the room around you. Take in the smells around you. If you're in the kitchen, grab something you love to eat and enjoy eating it. 

    After that, write about it. Or draw a picture. Or just splatter some random lines and colors on a page. Or dance about it to the song that pops up in your head. Or scream and yell about it. 

    Let your humanity out. Let the internet die. 

    Then come back to the digital world. See how you feel after this little break. And remember both the disconnected feeling and the returning feeling. It will give you a taste of what you might need to reflect on in the future. Especially the one that these juggernauts want to make of our world. 

    Thank you for reading this third piece. I will gladly let you know how my own experience goes when I come back in November. Until then, may your life be blessed and your mind de-stress.

With Peace and Strength,

Animus Custodius