Ani Was Writing

      I didn't know I was being handed this program.      I just received it on a random USB flash drive in the mail. The only other thing inside was a note that said, "Now you're it. Don't overthink what is about to happen or what will happen." That's all I got.      I plugged the flash drive into a different computer than my main computer; I don't need something messing up my main computer, after all. As soon as I booted it up, my entire computer was taken over. I thought about pulling the flash drive out, but it wasn't where I had put it. It just disappeared in thin air, I guess. The screen came with an animation of an old-fashioned golden scale. On one side was this luminescent white feather, and nothing on the other side. The scale didn't seem to be affected by the weight of the feather in the slightest as the scale still read as balanced. In the distance on the screen was this crocodile-headed dog thing that got closer as it realized th...

      Well, now I am caught up on the blog posts. At least, the ones I am willing to type out right now. I might restore a few more later on (see the blog post for 19 May 2024 for more about that).      Now I feel like I can share what has been going on the last two months. Please give me the grace to really ramble here, as a lot of this is still going on in real time and I am processing a lot right now.      Here it is: I have experienced a death of someone close to me. It was someone who I was seeing for the last two months and had become attached to as a girlfriend. He was a really sweet dude who tried his damnedest to make sure I was loved, appreciated, and given the time to adjust to having a new relationship in ... 2 or 3 years? Something like that. He died in a car accident in Denver on 9 May. I found out about it through his dad mostly, but later found articles related to it where I saw pictures and read more news about it. It was not...

      I found a pen recently that I absolutely love.      It is this pretty black thing I found in a field one day. It looks like the ones I found at Walmart, but if felt heavier and much easier for me to hold. The ink on it was beautiful. It was a black matte with this dark red tint to it. It looks really pretty in my notebooks, especially when I wrote stories or ideas with it. The words really seem to pop off the page when I read them back.  ~     So, I just found out that this pen is ... cursed? Blessed? I'm going with blessed.      Someone close to me in the enchantment circles said that my pen looked familiar to them, so they took it with the promise of giving it back. One second of holding it told them everything and they handed it back with a bit of concern. They said it was a pen whose ink was made with blood mixed in. And the only way to refill the ink was to soak the pen in the blood of my enemies.     I thi...

      I don't think anyone truly has any privilege in this world. By definition, it is "a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group" (thank you, Oxford Dictionary). With that in mind, no one has it. No one. And we all made sure of that.      Every time someone gives me an example of someone or some group that has a privilege, I often find that it comes with a cost. That cost is often scrutiny and judgement, which kind of negates the privilege. You have a certain color of skin? Well, now you are inferior to every other group with different skin color for no reason other than you skin. Do you have a certain amount of money? Well then, F you for not being so generous with those who have nothing. Do you have a certain kind of job? Well, I guess that must be nice when you have a job and are not unemployed or working a different job that has a different level of stress.      I often find this co...

      You know, I saw a graphic a while back from Wait, but Why? on his blog about life. I want to share it with y'all.      I have been thinking about this a lot lately, especially when it comes to my life choices I've made and what lies in front of me.      But it does remind me of the idea of the Tree of Life from the Bible. Something that made you aware of what was going on. What was "right" and "wrong" in terms of how we lived.      Sure, there are things now established as right and wrong on the basis of individual and collective survival and preservation. But aside from that... we kind of just made up those ideas.      Like I said, it's been something I've been thinking about a lot recently.