Ani Was Writing

  PR #122025 Reported on 31 December 2025 Project 1: Writing     Novels Worked On: 3 of 7     Novels Completed: 0 of 7     Blog Posts Completed: 55/52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 232.0     Weight Loss/Gain: +2.0 in December (-1.4 total in 2025) Project 3: Christmas Gifts     All parts completed. Project 4: Savings Plan     Project need revamp. Additional information coming in 2026 (probably around March/April)

 Day 1     I got stuck. And no one is coming to save me.      I'm not complaining though. I finally get to drink myself to near-death, then wake up and do it again.      Some people truly forget that I can't really get drunk, curse or no curse. At the end of the century, I'm still stuck being sober.  Day 3     Drinking doesn't have the same thrill as it used to. And no, it's not because of Buffmem. No matter what he says.      There is something about immortality that drains a lot of addictive things of their spark. As some scholarly mortals would suggest, the dopamine is not the greatest once you get used to it. And just so the mortals reading this know, there is a limit. There is only so much dopamine you can produce in your brains. There is a hard limit. Depression should have taught you all that.  Day 25     You know, Ani told me to talk to the Void to record more of my thoughts, but I went on ...

 As I am narrowing down to the last few weeks of the year, I realized I fucked up. Big time. Granted, I have given everything I could to make this year great. But something's got to give. Don't worry, it won't be this blog. I love writing this. But I really need to consider and re-consider a lot of other things.  Don't worry, I will finish the year out. And I will still be here, like I said. There are other things though. I will keep you updated in 2026 once I figure it all out.  Enjoy your holidays!  With Love and Strength, Animus Custodius

      There are times in your existence where you deal with particular events. That much is obvious. Some of these events are more positive in nature. Some are negative.     That much is obvious.      More positive-natured events are often considered self-created. You gave birth to them, so now you get to enjoy the full extent of its nature and timespan.     The opposite is true of more negative-natured events. Often, these are considered external creations.      We believe there is another explanation.      We believe that all events, regardless of general perception, are bullshit. Neither created by internal or external forces, but a third less-understood force that exists purely outside this dichotomy.     Together with scientific and paranormal individuals and societies, we strive to investigate all events to peel back the layers of nature, time, and space to find their cause or creator.  ...

  PR #112025 Reported on 30 November 2025 Project 1: Writing     Novels Worked On: 3 of 7     Novels Completed: 0 of 7     Blog Posts Completed: 49/52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 230.0     Weight Loss/Gain: -0.4 in November (-3.4 total in 2025) Project 3: Christmas Gifts     Part 1 Progress: 53%     Part 2 Progress: 50% Project 4: Savings Plan     Amount: $100/$10,000

      "Something is off with this group. I'm not 100% sure what it is. It didn't take long to recognize it. It took a literal lightning bolt to recognize it. But something isn't right."     "Then let me have them for a time."     "You? You want them?"     "Of course I do. They have the chaotic energy needed in my world to keep the Nodo Fati entangled."     "... You want to keep the Nodo Fait entangled?"     "For now, yes."     "Just for now?"     "You heard me. Look, I will trade you. You take some time with the Time Walker's group that I normally guide, and I will take the newer adventurers."     "Won't they notice something is off?"     "Maybe. Maybe not. But we have to take that risk, Animus. Besides, you can give the Time Walker's group some of your drugs while you're at it. It would make things more interesting."     "Only the ones connected to the T...

 What Is This Thing Called Love By Kim Addonizio     Has there ever been a time you remembered what you were thinking and feeling when you were intoxicated (primarily alcohol)? I often do, but -until I read this book- I lacked a way of expressing all of the phases I went through when a drink or two slipped down my throat on New Year's Eve or at a family celebration.     I will explain in a slightly odd way how this book's different parts feel like one can after having alcohol. Especially if that "one" is me.      Part One starts not long after I've enjoyed the fullest extent of my two drinks (and maybe one shot) of the night. (I'm a lightweight, I know. Cut me some slack.) It is this fantastical feeling of letting those little erotic/erratic desires and dreams pass through. Letting your mind slip just far enough off its tight leash to explore a thought without really committing to its action. Sometimes out loud, most of the time silently as the re...

  Location:      Zioaddon, Andromeda Galaxy Syndicate, Custodius Continuum Description:     Entity is an abnormally large humanoid female. Often naked in its natural habitat, but will take on local attire as camouflage when travelling or hunting. Bald and eyeless. Scholar's Information:     Humanoid female calls herself La Madre (Milky Way Syndicate-language Spanish for "The Mother"). La Madre roams Zioaddon mainly, but can travel AGS randomly. La Madre appears alluring to any humanoid male with limited to no connections to females of any humanoid species. La Madre uses this to coerce humanoid males to join her on Zioaddon. If male is persuaded and proceeds to mate with La Madre, humanoid males join the collective known as Bendito, a localized Hive Mind of humanoid males that serve and fight for La Madre. Bendito cannot be restored to previous identities and can only be killed. If male is repulsed by La Madre, La Madre will attack male with verbal...

 Recently, I've had a rather jolting realization about my life and the general projection of it. Started when I got told that small-ish changes were happening at work. Things that only lent some credence to my current conspiracy theory about my job. I won't share that theory until I leave this job.      On top of that, I found myself in (or at?) odds with my online social life. I go through these phases often. It's usually because the noise is a lot for me. I will gladly make a large social investment to begin with if that means- ~     It was in the middle of the previous thought that I had my actual realization. I realize that I am not very balanced in my social life. Not only that, but I am not a great user of my time and energy. So I guess it's time for me to look into that.     I also should probably look into why I feel the way I do about my job and my social life a bit more. Not sure how to feel about all of that either. 

  PR #102025 Reported on 26 October 2025 Project 1: Writing     Novels Worked On: 2 of 7     Novels Completed: 0 of 7     Blog Posts Completed: 44/52 (Including Extra Blog Posts) Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 230.4     Weight Loss/Gain: -1.0 in October (-3.0 total in 2025) Project 3: Christmas Gifts     Part 1 Progress: 50%     Part 2 Progress: 30% Project 4: Savings Plan     Amount: $0/$10,000 (Emergency Usage)

      If you have been reading my blog for the last three or four months, you may have noticed that I am in the process of running a D&D campaign. The last two or three months, I have been posting companion pieces called The Mat-Zemlya Companion.      For those of you not in the D&D circles (New Horizons or Chaos Party, to be exact), I will explain in a more detailed blog post or series of blog posts in 2026.      If you are in the D&D circles (New Horizons or Chaos Party), you may only see a few posts. Just check in at your leisure, preferably at the end of each month. And feel free to pass the link around. I'm sure it will be fun for everyone. Including my other DM cohort/chaos companion.     To see more of the posts, click the label "D&D Companion" on the sidebar. That should give you all of them to read. If not, feel free to just check for the dates, often closer to the end of the month. Or reach out to me for a ...

 Beloved Gerald,  The time I have spent apart from you has been torturous. Even though I recall many adventures apart, these last few months have felt far more disheartening than usual. I have resigned myself to this life in this strange land to some extent. Still, most of my body and soul are devoted to reuniting with you and reaching home again. I miss many of the mundane routines we kept while we were together, and I cannot wait until we can indulge in them again.  Thankfully, Elise and Mellan have been a small blessing to keep my hopes high during this time. Elise especially, even with the new addition to the house. Not another child, thank the gods. Although it acts like a child. It appears to be a golden dragon hatchling that Elise has named Balthazar. (Bal for short, as Elise has asked me to specify to you. She is watching me write this.) Balthazar -Bal- has been a handful, but also a wonder to watch Elise raise. It has grasped onto both Dracconic and Common fa...

 These Are The Breaks By Idris Goodwin     You think you know poetry, don't you? You think all your rhyming couplets or numbered lines make poems. You think a certain structure makes you a certified "poetry lover" as you scroll on social media to find the pictures of poetry. I'm going to be honest with y'all; that's not all poetry has to offer.     I've know of Idris Goodwin for a while now. I believe I have even delved into other works of his on this blog. This particular collection really stuck with me, however. This kind of work really does sneak up on you. It started out as very light, very amusing, and I thought I was in for one of his more easy-going collections where I can ignore the world and reality for a bit.      I should know better. I should know that as much as Goodwin's pieces are fun, they are heavy.      This books definitely crashed the reality of others' worlds on me hard. I will admit that the slice of life I hav...

    There was something I could do about all of this, but I chose to do nothing. Yeah, I saw all of the signs. I kept the mental list in my head. It was all the usual stuff. She wouldn't talk to me after dinner until we were in bed. She didn't want to go on our evening walks with the dog, or would be lost in thoughts if she did.      It didn't take long for me to notice other weird things going on. It was small at first. New bottles of my favorite cologne showing up when I needed it. Pantry staples restocked before I would realize that I needed them. Then my clothes were replaced with a new piece that was exactly the same when she saw they were wearing down or when she heard me complain about them. The biggest one was when I broke the chain from one of my favorite bracelets that I got when on the battlefield. I left it on my nightstand, sad but not distraught. Couldn't find it a day later and about lost my mind. Then a week later, it was in a cushioned box on my...

  PR #092025 Reported on 13 October 2025 Project 1: Writing     Novels Worked On: 2 of 7     Novels Completed: 0 of 7     Blog Posts Completed: 39/52 Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 231.4     Weight Loss/Gain: +0.1 in September (-2.0 total in 2025) Project 3: Christmas Gifts     Part 1 Progress: 50%     Part 2 Progress: 29% Project 4: Savings Plan     Amount: $50/$10,000

August 23, 2008     Holy shit, today was the best day ever! I never thought I would have fun like this at the Centennial Red fair. This definitely takes the delicious angel food cake! I am so telling Deanne about this when I see her at school on Monday.     First off... Holy shit, the fair was so boring! I had to go for a music thing since the band director wouldn't let me just go hang out. But no. We needed to be there to twirl our flags and rifles around while the band played their stupid show about dragons or whatever we're doing this year. I mean, I'm a freshman, but come on! But the fair became less boring when I met these new friends. The first one was this really tall blue dude. He seems really chill after he curb-stomped a guy for stealing my prize from the Opera Lady that shows up every other year. Then this other dude! The other dude looked like a big, fat guy from the anime Deanne watches. He could probably beat someone up... Anyway, he showed up to look a...

 Whip & Spur / "Dawn From Twilight" By Dr. Iver Arnegard     This is the book I am most positively biased toward. I will just state that up front.          Dr. Arnegard was one of my favorite professors for my Creative Writing degree, as he could probably guess if you were to ask him. He has a more genuine personality than most people I've run across seem to have. Using some of my new spirituality jargon, he was - and still is, in my opinion- a more authentic and honest person who didn't mind sharing the occasional vunerable moment in times he felt he could. There were many conversations we had about random writing shenanigans to the occasional comment about society and the world at large. I could not imagine what kind of writer and person I would have become had he not been part of my Creative Writing journey.     I am coming back to both this short story collection and the bonus short story with about eight years between graduation...

    Of course we didn't know what we were doing. We were all seven or eight, and that is not a time to form large organizations.     Honestly, I should have told Auntie not to get my cousin that dinosaur egg. But she thought little girls like my cousin needed to have all kinds of different toys, not just the ones "society thinks she should have." But hey, Auntie gave her a dinosaur egg.     It came out after the pi ñata was broken and all the party favors were handed out. My cousin was excited with her spread of gifts: toys, candies, some books, clothes galore. The main thing she was excited about was her dinosaur egg, realistically cracked like it was ready to hatch. One of those humongous ones that took a minute for my cousin to pick up and carry to the backyard. Several of us -mostly cousins, I think- followed her outside onto the back porch to watch her open it. All of the uncles were out there, so it wasn't a big deal, even with the beer cans littering...

      At the time of writing this, I am finishing up the first session of a year-long campaign. My first DM campaign (Sept 2024 to May 2025) has definitely re-taught me how to tell stories and the true chaos that unfolds when others enter this space with me. It was an absolute blast and got me back in touch with a universe that I hadn't touched in almost a decade.     With all that, I learned a few things.     One, Dungeons and Dragons is a clunky system for me to handle. And absolutely a system that I need to work with more than I did in my first campaign. With that in mind, I feel as if the pre-written campaigns are a little dry. Maybe it is the fact that they are meant to be guardrails for generic groups. They seem to be the boring yet filling rice and beans that groups are meant to flavor on their own. Mind you, I am basing this off of what I've seen and heard from different D&D related podcasts and livestreams. Then again, these sections of th...

 "So, this is the group, eh?" The black fennec fox asks as she jumps on the Time Walker's shoulder. They both watch as the large group travels out of the religious sanctuary they met in and into the world of Mat-Zemlya.     "This is them." The Time Walker confirms. They remained surprisingly intact for their first time walk. Only a few minor changes here and there.     "Good. And I take it you will be leaving soon for your own group?"     "Yes, in a bit. I just haven't visited and experienced this space in a while. To think this is a Nodo Fati."     "Always has been." The fox leaps from the shoulders of the Time Walker to the kneeling rail around the sanctuary altar. "You know I found two of the other Creators here, after all. Talk about a Custodius crossover."     The Time Walker ponders the information as she sits. She takes in the surroundings that creep into the dreams of her Creator from time to time. The dust on ...

   PR #082025 Reported on 26 August 2025 Project 1: Writing     Novels Worked On: 2 of 7     Novels Completed: 0 of 7     Blog Posts Completed: 34/52 Project 2: Weight Management     Current Weight: 231.3     Weight Loss/Gain: +1.0 in August (-2.1 total in 2025) Project 3: Christmas Gifts     Part 1 Progress: 5%     Part 2 Progress: 6% Project 4: Savings Plan     Amount: $0/$10,000

 I've done Canlanma Street Level, but this is a different set of Canlanma Tales that came from the older blog I had in 2018. Enjoy! ~ 1: A Beginning  She watches over the calm. It is a stranger to her, almost unnervingly so. The stillness coaxes a mirage-like tension over the city below her gaze. Usually a hurried city with blooming markets and lengthy conversation droning over the walls, now reverently silent under the moons above. Her gaze drifts over to a rather odd sight: a queen as she scarfs down a slice of Chocolate Forest cake. "Gen... I didn't think you would eat the cake."   The queen flings her sights toward her new audience. "I- I- I-" She straightens up and does her best to swallow her bite. "I did not want to eat it in front of everyone else. So I waited-" She blinks and smirks. "I thought you had a cake as well, Animus."   Animus laughs and brings her wandering eyes back to the city. "I didn't feel like having any....

This Is Modern Art By Kevin Coval and Idris Goodwin     I will admit, I came at this play with a bit of bias.      My experience with graffiti comes from the experiences I had with my dad removing it from the sides of houses and businesses. My dad had instilled in my a sort of defiant perspective on graffiti as we worked with the city: that by removing this, we were removing the influence of gangs and gang activity from the city. He truly believed that by getting rid of as many tags and pieces as he could, the gangs would just stop.      As I have learned from time and reading this as a reminder, that never actually works. That just gives the canvas to a new artist to play with, and a new set of tags a chance to appear.      This play is a beautiful conversation that I got to observe from a distance. While I am not a visual artist like these individuals are, I can understand from a general artist perspective the thrill of finding a ...

 This is a long read, and incomplete one at that. I just wanted to post this here so I have a record of it somewhere. If you would like me to finish/flesh this out, please let me know on our mutual messaging system. Enjoy!  ~   “Wake up.”   I do as I am told. I blink to adjust to the light and white walls of this strange room. I glance over to the left and allow my body to adjust before noticing the other man. The man’s back is turned to me and facing a fountain. The only thing I notice is that the man is wearing a rather lavish white cloak with gold trim and rubies on the trim. The man turns. “My name is Ambassador Arthur.” I look over Ambassador Arthur. The man’s shoulder-length brown hair sweeps to the side as his green eyes flick up and down. The ambassador adjusts his cloak over his white and blue thawb. “Now, you’ve been brought to the city of Peponi by- well, it doesn’t matter where-” My mind suddenly leaves Ambassador Arthur’s words and flashes to t...