I Know A Soul (P)

I know a soul who could outshine the best of the best.

Then again, that’s all they claimed. They always came around in the best outfit with the best accessories, and carried out conversations that were more about them than the person they were talking to. It sends most of us in the Land of Dead running when we hear their heavy metal herald come by. We know it's them, and they want to show off. Sometimes you get really unlucky and they come to you and just talk until they get offended that you’re not listening. Then again, I wish I had your ability to offend them without saying anything. I try to get them off of me by insulting them, but it seems to only make them more unbearable. 

Every time I see them, it’s the same routine. They announce their arrival with heavy metal and loud synthetic applause, then randomly walk up to another soul who is not expecting to deal with them and just start talking. At first, the conversation seems pleasant: topics of life, the universe, and everything come up in polite ways until something triggers them. It could be something as simple as a comment or as insignificant as a nervous smile. Then it becomes a tirade of “well, I know more about that than you,” or “oh, I remember feeling worse than that before,” or the dreaded, “that sounds like something that happened to me.” All of those were a signal to end the conversation as fast as possible. The only one I would know to keep the conversation going was Avaritia, but that was only so he could steal their accessories from their pockets and whatever was loose on them. 

I think they were wanting to talk to me today about the rumors that the Big Guy Upstairs was gone. I guess they went up there to chat with him about their perspective on recent events and found he was just not there. His throne was empty and nothing of his divine relics was around. At first, they just assumed Avaritia snatched the relics, but that was proven wrong by Avaritia himself. They seemed to share my distaste that Avaritia would even consider getting the divine relics, but then went back to talking about how their relics were better than the divine relics. Which I know is a lie. Their relics are just common stuff. Just don’t let them hear me say that. I really hope they don’t come by anytime soon. It is rare that I get to enjoy the silence as much as I do. And I wish I could join the others in journeys just so I don’t have to hear Superbia ramble about their journey. I think the last time they talked to me, they were saying that they were going to wander around just so they could say they were the first to travel the whole space between Hell, the Land of the Dead, and Heaven. Of course, no one can go back to the physical universe. At least, I don’t think so. If there is a way, I want to be the first before anyone can claim they did. Then again, I have a feeling someone else we know is going to try to get through to the physical universe first. That upsets me, considering we both know that Superbia will just claim to help the other one get through to take credit. 

But anyway, I see Superbia coming now. I just can’t wait to talk to them again. I can hear the music now and the fake applause. I really hope you don’t have to endure it like I do. Then again, everything seems to work so well for you compared to me. Maybe one day I will learn to tell Superbia to shove their mouth somewhere else for a change. That would probably make everyone happier. Oh, wait… they passed us up! They look like they are heading for the heavenly gates! Thank goodness! I don’t feel sorry for anyone who is already up there. That is not a place I would want to be with them strutting around like a peacock. Lucky me!