Ani Was Writing

  So, this might drive some people away. And that's fine. I don't expect people to read these or even begin to understand what goes through my head when I ask these questions.   An ever-going lifetime's story edited short, I've had a lot of negative experiences with my old church and western religions in general. I have yet to meet someone who has had the best answers to these questions. This list changes on a regular basis, especially if and when I read religious texts. A lot of these questions are solely squared at the Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam), but I will probably have more questions when I continue/begin studies into other religions with more than a passing interest.  If God wants everyone to worship Him, why would He only give His perfect knowledge and wisdom to a select group of people? I find it odd that He only reveals this stuff to a small group of people. Can God truly be so upset with human's mortal sins so much tha...

To those who call themselves "incels," "nice guys," or "nice girls:" Allow me the indulgence of speaking with you bluntly. There has been a lot of backlash against all of you for reasons that may not seem apparent to you or that you may think are false and demeaning. We as a society may not have interacted with you in the best way possible, and -as a member of that society- I apologize if I have done anything to propagate that behavior and language. On the other hand, it seems that you and those you have decided to connect with have also done a fair share to vilify the society that may have rejected you. You may feel unheard, shoved aside, and generally neglected in a world that is often indifferent to suffering and fairness. With this in mind, I would like to extend a small olive branch to you in hopes that you will be able to discuss how you feel without judgement and scorn. I feel that everyone needs someone who will listen to their problems and fe...

This is a letter addressed both directly and indirectly to my mother. I highly doubt she will ever see it, but I need to get it written before I totally forget to. If this happens to apply to your relationship with your mother or mother figure, feel free to share it with her.  I feel the need to start this by saying that this letter is going to be a bit accusatory. Up until now, I have been harboring some emotional spite toward you for things you have done to irritate and annoy me. It's been going on for some time now, but I have yet to find the best way to communicate this to you verbally. In addition, know that a lot of what I say is coming from a place of spite and annoyance toward you that may or may not be totally palatable or pleasant for you to hear. Again, up until now, I have been holding my tongue to keep our family life pleasantly stale and cushion-like, almost like a box of packing peanuts. Please allow me the indulgence of every piece of language I desire to use. ...

  When it comes to projects and things I want to do, my brain gets a little squirrel-like. It tends to like the idea and plans it out a little, but doesn't really commit to it because something else catches its interest. On top of that, any projects I do plan well get buried for later completion during some sort of proverbial creative winter. I find this really annoying; it bothers me a bit to know that my brain actively does this. Like... take this blog, for example. This is the usual conversation with my brain every month: Me: Okay Brain, we have a lot of unfinished projects that need to get done. What should we do? Brain: I mean, we can always start a new one. Or destroy an old plan to make a new one. Me: No, I want to finish what we have. Brain: Eh... that sounds boring. Let's start something new!    That's honestly it. Before you know it, I have five different projects going at once and none of them are done. I'm guessing that some other people deal ...

  It's now February. The cold of the last storm disappeared on Thursday and left behind the tempting weather of a spring day. The park across the street is filled with children and adults enjoying this momentary warmth before the Polar Vortex greets us with more cold weather and chaos over the course of the next week. Instead of enjoying this pleasant day like the rest of my neighborhood, I am inside my home, in front of my computer. I sit in a position that I slowly realize is uncomfortable. I glance outside my little basement window and ponder what the last month of my life has been like.   January was a rather odd month for me. A lot of what I left behind in 2018 tried to stick with me. A lot of the same drama and problems tried to creep up and suction themselves to me again. My work and the news in general were (as usual) the biggest creepers. Working for a school bus company (in my opinion) usually means that a lot of the same messages get repeated year after year. Not...